Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Urbanity

I was buttoning my pants this morning, when I heard a hideous chirp coming from the wall. I went to put my ear up against the wall, but the console table was in the way.

JUST THIS!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Premthis

Sometimes, people are not as aggressively savvy as you.
They can't be serious.
JUST THIS!

Oh my

You know how when you're texting someone and then, like, you experience some commonplace emotion...

JUST THIS!

Gay

My roommate didn't come home last night.

I said, "Did you get laid last night?"

He said, "I heard, never kiss and tell?"

I thought, "Gey." But I said, "So, who is she?"

He said, "Who is who? (chuckle) I never said anything happened."

I thought, "!"

Puberty

who knew left was right?
dude knew, when first grew black from white,
little Jew fuzz and AG was like
"Pops its here I finally got it, my sack has little bumps atop it"
Pops said "Good, but boy that's called your scrodum"
(AG thought, 'gross! do other boys grow them?')
some things stay silent, violent rad,
so invert your phrases, and be glad
the dick you have, ain't the dick you had.

Boy penises grow into man penises!